Should's and Should Not's
by One Lovely Morning
Summary: Fabian should have built a bridge to get over the fact Nina was gone. He didn't. Patricia shouldn't have taken advantage of him. She did. Fabian shouldn't kill himself. Or should he? Rated M for suggestive scenes and suicidal thoughts/actions. No tossers.


So I don't own House of Anubis...

_Oh, and no flames, please. If you don't like Fabian/Patricia, don't read, okay? It's that simple, honestly. I'd rather have few people who LIKE this read it than a bunch of tossers who don't. It's not exactly a whole them dating thing, but still, there's a bit of action. This is not for strictly canon, close minded sorta people._

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><p>Patricia could hear a soft weep float into the living room from the hall. She looked up in confusion, wondering who it could be. Hadn't the rest of the house gone on their stupid date night? Amber and Alfie, Joy and Mick, Mara and Jerome?<p>

_"Oh..."_ she thought to herself. _"Fabian..."_

It'd been two weeks.

Two weeks since Rufus had taken Nina hostage.

Two weeks Fabian spent all of his time looking for her.

Two weeks he could never find her.

Tonight was different. Trudy had insisted he stay home just this one night, and Patricia had just remembered it was her job to "keep an eye" on him while Trudy and Victor met with the police department for an update on Nina's search.

She set her book down and slowly went through the door and down the hall to Fabian's room.

"Knock knock," she slipped her head in the door and tried to manage a smile. But it was hard to do so. Although Nina's capture was hardest by far on Fabian, it hurt everyone. That's why the others went on date night-they needed time to try and act like things were normal.

"Oh-um," Fabian quickly rubbed his eyes. "H-hi."

"You okay?" she asked. She really did feel bad seeing him this way.

He and Nina had just starting stepping out. They were quite an awkward, shy couple (around the housemates, at least), but happy all the same. Fabian had taken Nina on a walk one night, and that's when it happened. Fabian ran after the van she was taken in through town for nearly a half hour, but they slipped away. He ran back to the police and recited the situation in tears and a search party was organized the next day across the country side. Nothing. Amber finally came out of her room two days ago, and Fabian only left to look for clues.

Patricia wasn't sure how to react. Nobody had cared this much when _Joy_ disappeared. But they were all given the fake story. This time, they got the truth from Fabian, and everyone was sure Nina was in danger, even though Trudy, Mick, and Mara weren't aware of the danger at it's height.

"Been better," he choked out. Patricia took this as an okay to go sit down, seeing he wasn't asking her to leave. Placing herself on the end of his bed, she gazed at him.

She could recall back when they were twelve...all of the girls in the house had a crush on Fabian. Even Amber. But once it was known among them that Joy, the "alpha girl", did, the rest stopped. With the exception of Patricia...

Joy, Fabian, and Patricia were like the three musketeers. Fabian usually tagged along because Mick always had sports, and he mighty fancied Joy at the time.

Patricia was always rather envious of this. No boy in the house would ever fancy her, the tough, goth pixie. But Fabian was her friend. And that was just sometimes a bit too much for Patricia to comprehend. Sometimes, she would let herself believe that it was really her that he liked, and he just pretended to like Joy because he was embarrassed. Oh, those were the days...

Patricia finally gave up when they were fourteen and Joy kissed Fabian's cheek under the mistletoe.

"Obviously," her smile faltered.

"Why aren't you with the others?" he asked then, obviously upset he couldn't go out and search.

"Date night," she scoffed. "I'm not good enough for anyone to take..." she said with a sigh.

"Now that's not true...what about Greg? Didn't he ask you on a date once?" Fabian asked, suddenly a bit better. He hated seeing anyone down.

"Yeah...but I'm not exactly _interested_ in anyone that would..." she looked down. Did she still fancy Fabian? No...it couldn't be...she felt nothing when he and Nina were together...she felt quite _happy_ for them...but now...seeing Fabian alone...her heart craved his touch...

"Well, what _are_ you interested in?" Fabian laughed a bit. Laughed. Patricia actually got him to _laugh_. There hadn't been a smile on his face since the night he and Nina left while she took his hand.

"Someone...who...well...you know, I'm not too sure," she laughed. "I guess I have to experiment."

"Experiment?"

"I guess any personality works...as long as they aren't jerks like the slimeballs...but I guess I need to feel a certain...spark..." she said, finally looking up at him. She'd noticed that in the time they'd been talking, she moved herself to face him, and now they weren't even twenty centimeters apart. Fabian could feel the warmth of Patricia's body radiate onto him. He was overcome. Overcome with...lust.

He wanted to punch himself in the gut. He only felt this way because he felt alone. He knew he didn't have feelings for Patricia. But if he squinted, his mind could crazily turn her into Nina.

"But I don't think I really ever could just...experiment...without being like Amy Larson," Patricia half laughed, half sighed. Amy Larson was a girl from their drama class, and she...got around...

"Well, you...you never know...maybe...w-...we...I mean...I could...help you?" Fabian already hated himself. He knew Patricia fancied him when they were younger. What if she still did? What if he was leading her on? He didn't have feelings for her. He loved Nina. But something about her did draw him in.

_"Something's wrong with me. I'm going to kill myself after this. I swear of it." _He thought to himself.

He waited for an answer, but rather than a verbal one, Patricia laid her lips on his. She felt sparks go all throughout her body, electrifying her passion.

He felt...Patricia's lips on him. And himself laying back, Patricia's legs straddling over him. But that was it. Nothing electrifying. He regretted suggesting this.

It was like something had taken over his body. He was on the inside screaming to make it stop and make her disappear. To make Nina be here with him reading like they usually did on rainy nights, cuddled up in his bed together both seeing who could read the fastest, the winner getting a kiss. It wasn't much of a "contest", per say, but it was something that made the both happy and giggly.

But then, while he was on the inside pleading for help, Patricia seemed to control his body.

Things continued, and Fabian found that his hands were tangled in Patricia's hair.

This was too much for him.

He couldn't take it.

He just wanted to throw her off of him and go kill himself.

He was cheating on Nina.

He couldn't do this.

He felt Patricia's hand snaking down to unbutton his pants, and that's when it happened. He ripped his lips off of hers and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Patricia," he said. "I...I can't do this. It's...it's just...I love N-"

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you," Patricia surprised him with this answer. Without another word, she got up and left.

All that night, Fabian thought of different ways to kill himself.

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><p>So...to be continued...that is, if you didn't all hate it. I'm aiming for a three shot.<p>

~One Lovely Morning


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